Hey!

Chris here. Welcome to Blueprint—the newsletter to help you build a winning engineering team.

Engineers are grieving right now, and most founders don't even realize it.

They're not mourning a person, though. They're mourning the death of the pre-AI engineering role.

Gone is the identity that said, "I am valuable because I write code," and they're processing that loss exactly like any other death.

I've identified five distinct stages of grief that every engineer experiences with AI. I went through these stages myself over the past 2.5 years, and I've watched thousands of engineers follow the same progression.

Understanding this process is essential to helping your team navigate what's coming.

So let's dive in. 👇️ 

📒 DEEP DIVE

Why Your Engineers are Grieving (and What Comes Next)

The emotional journey from "AI will replace me" to "AI makes me unstoppable."

I remember messing with ChatGPT in the first week it came out. It started with this fear of not knowing what I was dealing with and ended with excitement I couldn't contain.

Yes, the middle of figuring everything out was messy and emotional, but also completely predictable.

And since then, I've watched engineers go through the same AI story arc I did.

So, here are the 5 stages of grief every engineer will face when they encounter AI:

The 5 Stages of AI Grief

Stage 1: Fear

Engineers can feel threatened when they see AI writing code.

It forces them to confront existential questions like, "If I'm not writing the syntax, am I even an engineer anymore?"

For most engineers, their self-worth comes from their ability to translate ideas into working code. When AI can do that, they feel lost.

Then their brain starts playing tricks on them. While their imagined scenarios probably aren't real (or even plausible), the fear they feel is real.

Stage 2: Skepticism

After the initial panic, engineers start testing AI tools. And early interactions usually reinforce their doubts.

The AI outputs are messy and often wrong. They require manual correction and cleanup.

Engineers point to these failures and say, "See? This thing is stupid. Look how bad it is."

But this skepticism is actually a protective stance. If the tool isn't that good, then the threat isn't that real.

With AI advancements over the past two years, it's clear that their skepticism is just a different manifestation of their fear.

Stage 3: Cautious Experimentation

Despite their skepticism, engineers eventually start using AI for limited tasks.

They let it write boilerplate code or generate scaffolding, but they still don't fully trust it.

This phase can last months. Engineers get some value but hold back from really leaning in because they're still processing what AI means for their role.

Stage 4: Acceptance

Eventually, the time savings become undeniable.

Even with the corrections and cleanup, AI helps engineers move faster. The shift happens when the tools' help outweighs the hassle of fixing the mistakes.

That's when engineers stop fighting it and start working with it. They realize, whether they like it or not, that it can actually be useful.

This is where most engineers I know are right now—cautiously optimistic but still figuring out what their new role looks like.

Stage 5: Excitement

It might take engineers months (or even years) to get to this stage.

But once they fully accept AI as a partner rather than a threat, new possibilities start popping up everywhere:

Less time on syntax, more time on architecture

Less debugging, more systems thinking

Less repetitive work, more creative problem-solving

They begin imagining entirely new ways of working.

I can relate because this phase is where I'm at. I wake up every morning excited to work with AI tools. The speed at which we can learn new things is orders of magnitude greater than just a few years ago.

And I've never had more fun building than I do today.

Why the Grief Metaphor Matters

Understanding this AI transition as a grief period changes how you lead through it.

Think about how you help people through grief in other areas of life. You don't try to rush them through it or convince them that nothing's as bad as it seems. You support them through the process and trust that they'll get to the other side.

It's the same with AI grief: it begins with fear and concerns that may not be substantiated.

But avoiding it is the only way to guarantee your worst fears come true. Because if you let fear keep you from engaging with these tools, you'll leave opportunities on the table.

The engineers who successfully make it through this entire arc find truly limitless possibilities awaiting them.

What This Means for Your Team

If you're managing engineers right now,

Normalize the AI fear and resistance. It's part of the process.

Don't try to convince anyone that AI isn't a threat. Instead, help them move through the stages systematically.

Start with small experiments. Give people permission to be wrong in their approach and learn from their mistakes.

Most importantly, help them see that their value as engineers was never just about writing syntax. It was about solving problems, understanding systems, and building things that work.

AI just gives them more powerful tools to do exactly that.

BEFORE YOU GO…

I suspect we're not at the final stage yet. We've been adapting to AI tools for the past two and a half years, and there are probably more phases coming.

But here's what I know for sure: the engineers who embrace this uncertainty and learn to work with these tools effectively will be the ones who thrive.

We're living through a time when what it means to be an engineer is being redefined.

While the uncertainty can be scary, the opportunity is also enormous.

It's up to us to decide whether we embrace this or shy away from it.

The choice is yours.

Talk soon,

Chris.